When "Thank You" isn't enough

I have amazing people in my life. People whom I will never be able to repay. People who leave me speechless at their willingness to drop everything and help (me) when they have a million other things to do. There are times when a simple "Thank You" isn't enough. Tonight is one of those times. 

To My husband - who should probably get some kind of a medal. These last few months have absolutely not been easy and you've been a trooper. I'm forever grateful that we are on this journey together. I love you so much more than words can explain. even when I'm being a brat.

First, my parents. I don't deserve them. My Dad has single-handedly been the general contractor on this house remodel from the beginning, while running a business. He gets up between 415 and 430 every single morning, goes to work, comes home for a change of clothes, and heads over to "the cabin" where you can find him until 8 or 9 pm every. single. night. Since September. No joke. And he's 52. How could I ever Thank him for that? My mom has kept it all going. She is practically managing two households, grocery shopping, planning meals, doing laundry, cleaning up, running errands, for a family of 5 instead of 2, and still offers to help me keep up with things at school. She. never. stops. If she isn't at her home, she is helping me make our home "perfect". Did I mention that she also watches G with his cousin one day a week and many more nights than she should have to. These are just things my mom and dad do for Casey and I. They are also constantly doing for my brothers' families, church families, and their siblings' families as well. And they never blink an eye. Ever. While I was on spring break this past week, my parents worked from sun up to sun down to help us move in to our house. Thank you is like a needle in a hay stack for what they deserve. Did I mention they have let us live with them for the last 9 months. And they genuinely love it. 

My brothers and their amazing wives. One of them lives 3 hours away, but they constantly text and call asking for pictures and to see the house the only way they are able. They are thoughtful and sincere and I love them dearly. The other, has been on vacation - and on their first day home, when they need to do their own catch-up, they give me their whole entire day. The whole thing. Without hesitation. They don't have to do these things for me, but they do. because they are awesome. This is just a glimpse of the things in which I should thank them for. 

Aunt Jackie and Uncle Bill - they've always been my second parents, which means they are always there for me by default. And it isn't like they haven't had enough things going on in their lives. They show up early, and stay late to help out. They bring food...and it isn't just any food, it is delicious. Always. They don't have to do any of this, but they do and a simple "thank you" just won't cut it for them. 

My cousins. One has been in ICU - the intensive. care. unit. she still checks in to see how things are going. And she has a toddler. Yea, she's awesome. The other - just had a new baby girl...their first baby girl. This sweet baby's mama came over this week to help. Did I mention she just had a baby - like 2 weeks ago? She strapped that baby on like a champ and got right to work - with her mom, because her mom is awesome too. And then, she let her husband out of the house for practically the entire day on a saturday - one of the 2 days he gets to spend with his new, fresh, sweet baby girl. He gave it to me - to help us out. "Thank you" will never be enough for them (or his in-laws, who came just because. they are so awesome!).

My grandparents - who come just to see the new house, marvel at it's beauty, and make vegetable soup. And then offer to help any way they can. I'm 27 so the g-parents are getting up there...(sorry if you are reading this!) but they have no business helping us move. The fact that they even offer to help is enough to be grateful for. Their giving hearts are something I wish to inherit. And pass on. 

I know I am forgetting people. My Aunt Cindy left her husband's birthday lunch to spend an afternoon washing boxed up dishes at our house. Thank you! My Uncle Vance, comes by almost daily - just to stop by and brings popcorn. Thank You! Please don't be offended if I forgot someone, I'm running on little sleep, but THANK YOU!

I want to shout it from the rooftops - Thank YOU! I owe you and I promise to pay it back or forward - for as long as it takes. I aspire to be like you. 

sorry for this jumbled mess. My graciousness has me blubbering like an idiot. 

Who's to blame?

Prepare yourself for my opinion: this is my blog after all. 

Last week, I had a conversation with a very nice man. We covered quite a few topics, but there's one that struck me and has resonated with me since. He said when he was in 8th grade, very few students in a rather large class weighed over 200 lbs, had asthma, allergies, or other chronic health problems plaguing our youth today. He then proceeded to tell me to look at my 8th graders and see if I could say the same.  Without giving me time to disagree, he said there could only be one common denominator....how we grow, prepare, and consume food. 

WAIT. JUST. ONE. MINUTE. Am I in a chipotle ad? When you walked through the Ag shop, did you fail to realize I was an Ag teacher? Are we really blaming the obesity epidemic on food? I can guarantee you that the sleeve of Girl Scout cookies I just ate are not responsible for my expanding waist line. My hand, controlled by my brain, placing each and every single delicious thin mint in to my mouth is responsible. 

Not the GMOs that help us feed the ever growing population, or even the antibiotics that keep my animals healthy. I know it isn't the use of naturally produced hormones that has helped us reach a much more efficient rate of production or even the pesticides, dye colors, and preservatives. I can blame absolutely no one single person or thing except for myself. 

Have we ever considered that "kids these days" are lazy because we have spent generations working our asses off to make their lives easier? It takes less farmers to feed us which allows for more families to have the privilege to get off the school bus and lay on the couch watching tv for hours until dinner is ready. The dinner that practically jumped off the grocery shelf in to your high tech cart with holes for your overpriced latte. We have developed technology to make our lives easier and information readily available. It isn't necessary to physically get off the couch to turn the channel on the tv or walk the aisles in the library searching for the information necessary to complete our homework assignments. 

So many of our ancestors worked for us to get to this point of complacency. Now...If it isn't easy, they don't want it. I just want to quit blaming everyone else and start taking the blame ourselves. It's not my fault as a teacher for students that are failing. It isn't the pencils fault for misspelling words. A gun doesn't kill people. Food is NOT making people fat. You are making yourself fat. Now, get off your ass and do something about it. 

Ill be cheering from the couch. Kidding, 

Just Being a Mom

For those who were previously unaware, I am an Ag teacher and this is National FFA Week. Suffice it to say that things are a little bat shit crazy. We have events almost every evening or morning. Oh - and throw Parent Teacher Conferences in the mix. Yea - and we are still remodeling. And - we still live with the rents. I'm still a Wife and a Mom. 

This week, this is my mantra. "Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are."

Today, a winter weather advisory blew in to the area. I immediately freaked. We were supposed to have Leadership Contest practice, and FFA basketball practice, and decorate lockers for tomorrow's Greenhand Day. How could I ever get all of those things done when all after school activities were canceled? Well I didn't. And so far, I've survived. Tonight, I was just a mom. I didn't go work on the house. I didn't work on school work. I wasn't an FFA advisor AND a mom. Or even a wife AND a mom. I, thankfully, got to just be a Mom. 

We played and laughed. We ran and we "all fell down". He helped me do laundry and fix dinner. Did I mention we played? We jumped on the bed, read books, enjoyed bath time, and made time for extra snuggles before I laid him down. I was just a Mom and it was exactly what I needed. 

Terrible Two's

I haven't done the research to find who coined the phrase "Terrible Two's", but I'd like to punch them in the throat. I assumed this wouldn't begin until age two. Wrong. Again. I'm pretty sure it is just a trial period for bipolar-ism. How in the world can my kid be completely melting down one second (screaming, kicking, hitting, biting, did I mention screaming?!?) and telling me he loves me the next? I'd like to slay the alien that kidnaps and inhabits my child's body for the 30 seconds it takes to turn him in to a total disaster. 

Here's a run-down of our daily fall-out: 
Bathroom Trip - Let's go pee like a big boy, Ok? Ok! Immediately followed by alligator tears for not wanting to go to the bathroom, no sticker, no big boy, no. period.
Dinner - asks for more broccoli (victory!) proceeds to throw broccoli on to the kitchen floor which causes him to cry because now his broccoli is all gone. 
Bed Time - Book Request? Charlie the Ranch Dog which is a crowd favorite, but tonight causes a biting melt down. Why, you may ask? Well...that is certainly a million dollar question. One, I am still trying to figure out. He proceeded to throw himself on the floor, resulting in tears because he fell. All we could do is laugh before we threw ourselves on the floor too. 

All of this ridiculousness is typical and is immediately followed by "Sowwy" and "I luhhyoutoo" which is all it takes to wrap my heartstrings around his little fingers.
Terrible One's, Two's, Three's, and 16's can't break my love for this little human...I just might need more wine and chocolate than is available in the tri-state area.

Politically Correct

Am I the only one who is tired of not being able to call it like it is? Why have we made it impossible to speak freely and have differing opinions without being called a bully or bigot? When did it become  necessary for all of us to agree, hug it out, and completely lose ourselves...forgetting how to stand up for anything?

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not ready to start another civil war and realize there are bullies and bigots who need to check theirselves before they wreck theirselves....BUT I'm tired of feeling like I need to skirt around sensitive topics because I can't heave an intelligent argument with FRIENDS. Yea, you read that correct, a disagreement with friends.

Kid President says "I disagree with you but I still like you as a person who is a human being and I will treat you like that because if I didn't it would make everything bad and too many people do that. it's ok to disagree but it's not ok to be mean." That kid SHOULD be president, his common sense is astounding. (and you should watch his videos) Remember, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. - Peter Hamilton

Now, please, go have an intelligent discussion with someone who can enlighten you about the opposing side of your argument. Don't be a hot head, or a douche bag. Just sit down and get smarter. Get passionate, do your research, use common sense, and form your OWN opinion. Quit letting other people, tv, magazines, Facebook, Twitter, and the internet in general form your thoughts and opinions. And finally, stand up for yourself (without yelling and demeaning your opposer). We all have a back bone, why is it so difficult for most people to use it?

I'm Such a Sucker

I've missed you all (all 3 of you I'm not related to). I could make excuses but I'll spare you. I'll also spare you the resolution I have. I don't want to set myself up for obvious failure. In my free time, I've been reading every heart wrenching blog and sobbing at every soul ripping video online. I'm not sure why I do that to myself. Especially when I'm sitting in the car dealership with tears streaming down my face. Awkward! I'm seriously such a sucker for these stories. It's constant reality check that my life is damn near perfect. I see parents lose little ones and hug mine a little tighter. I. Just. Can't. Imagine. I let every one of these stories tear right through my ever growing heart. It's like an accident in slow motion, I just can't  divert my attention. I

When I'm not staring at my phone crying for unexplained reasons, we are working on the never ending house remodel. I can't wait to tell you about it and finally announce its completion. Maybe, next year :)

Impeccable Timing

My son has impeccable timing. He responds with the appropriate animal sounds when we are alone, but refuses to perform in public. He always says bye bye as soon as the door closes. He laughs to be the center of attention in a large crowd and gives me the biggest smiles when I need it most. At the end of a busy long day, when I lay my head on my pillow, I hear his cries in the monitor. Impeccable timing. 

I won't lie, it frustrates me. And then I remember I was busy being a teacher and advisor all day. I wore myself down doing the job I get (paid) for. I didn't get to spend much time with the most important little man in my life. It's only on the busiest days that he uses his impeccable timing to remind me that Mom is my most important title. 

It's easy to get caught up in the stress of life. It's easy to get my priorities mixed up. And it's easy to get them right back in line, with a not so tiny little human, stretched out in my arms, snuggled up on my chest, making it harder to breathe the bigger he gets. Im reminded of one of my favorite books..."I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."