Confidence

^{Confidence: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's cirrcumstances; the quality or state of being certain.}

How many of you can say you are confident according to this definition? What does it take to be confident? How do we boost other's confidence? Wow, 3 pretty loaded questions. I'm not usually this deep on a Sunday evening (insert inappropriate joke here), but I've been on a blogging hiatus so I'm coming back strong. 

Are you confident? What does that even mean? There are many different ways to be confident, feel confident, or look confident. Do you have to be comfortable to be confident? I've always felt like a confident person even when I have insecurities. Just like every other human, my confidence ebbs and flows. On days when my chest puffs out (figuratively, or literally I guess), I'm not afraid of much and I can take criticism and roll with it. Other days, I am one critique away from a sobbing mess. So, what does it take to be confident?

I've recently been discussing self acceptance with my 8th graders and trying to outline what it takes to be a good leader. They would say that a good leader must be confident in front of a crowd. A good leader is the popular kid. While I try to teach them that you don't have to be popular to be a good leader, I question whether my words are authentic. Are all good leaders confident? 

What does it take to be confident? Do you have to feel good about yourself to exude confidence? Do we seem confident if everyone thinks we have it together? Good job, house, spouse, life? Just ask Anthony Weiner or Miley Cyrus and I'm sure you'll get that question answered in a hurry. Sometimes the quiet girl in the back corner is the most sure of herself. Question is, how do we know? And if we're not sure, how do we boost other's confidence?

As a teacher, I'm learning to read students and teens every day. I see them tear each other down and build each other up. I hear them talk about their parents (that deserves another blog post) and to their parents. They're quick to judge, but slow to trust others judgement. I'm amazed at the wonders of their brains. I see one little comment from the popular crowd, completely rip them to shreds while they pretend to laugh it off. All the while, I'm realizing it doesn't stop after one has entered adulthood. Since we all must exist in a world where standards are unattainable, how do we keep each other grounded, but continue to build one another up?

It just takes one person to make your day. What if you made it your mission to compliment 1 person a day. Your hair looks great! Cute outfit, have you lost weight? You are so funny! I've noticed you put a lot of time into that lesson/presentation, I really enjoyed it. I'm certain you'll find it makes your day too. Sure, you can focus on the quiet girl in the corner first, but don't forget about the presenter who's leading the discussion while conquering her fear of speaking in front of a crowd. You know, the one who has sweat running down his back and is squeezing the "clicker" extra hard to hide the nervous shakes. Make sure to tell them you thought it was great. We all need to hear it from time to time.