I'm Such a Sucker

I've missed you all (all 3 of you I'm not related to). I could make excuses but I'll spare you. I'll also spare you the resolution I have. I don't want to set myself up for obvious failure. In my free time, I've been reading every heart wrenching blog and sobbing at every soul ripping video online. I'm not sure why I do that to myself. Especially when I'm sitting in the car dealership with tears streaming down my face. Awkward! I'm seriously such a sucker for these stories. It's constant reality check that my life is damn near perfect. I see parents lose little ones and hug mine a little tighter. I. Just. Can't. Imagine. I let every one of these stories tear right through my ever growing heart. It's like an accident in slow motion, I just can't  divert my attention. I

When I'm not staring at my phone crying for unexplained reasons, we are working on the never ending house remodel. I can't wait to tell you about it and finally announce its completion. Maybe, next year :)

Impeccable Timing

My son has impeccable timing. He responds with the appropriate animal sounds when we are alone, but refuses to perform in public. He always says bye bye as soon as the door closes. He laughs to be the center of attention in a large crowd and gives me the biggest smiles when I need it most. At the end of a busy long day, when I lay my head on my pillow, I hear his cries in the monitor. Impeccable timing. 

I won't lie, it frustrates me. And then I remember I was busy being a teacher and advisor all day. I wore myself down doing the job I get (paid) for. I didn't get to spend much time with the most important little man in my life. It's only on the busiest days that he uses his impeccable timing to remind me that Mom is my most important title. 

It's easy to get caught up in the stress of life. It's easy to get my priorities mixed up. And it's easy to get them right back in line, with a not so tiny little human, stretched out in my arms, snuggled up on my chest, making it harder to breathe the bigger he gets. Im reminded of one of my favorite books..."I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Finding a Balance

Seriously, how do women ever have more than one child? Why is it not more socially acceptable to be unemployed or have a part time job? Do you think I could get a few more hours in the day? When did I begin to function in a constant state of exhaustion? And finally, why am I blogging when I could be sleeping?

I'm obviously struggling to find the balance here. And I don't even have to cook, clean, or regularly do my laundry (thanks, Mom!). My iPhone calendar is a constant barrage of dots indicating I have a meeting or an event scheduled. I'm forgetful because I have too much to remember and some times I sit in my office or on the couch in a daze because I don't even know where to begin.

At my age, my mom had 3 children and was supporting my dad while he started a business. Earth to the Super Hero Association, who awards the Wonder Woman medals? I appreciate and admire her more and more each day.

I absolutely love this stage of my life, but I'm struggling to find a balance in my happy place. How do I give 100% to everything? How can I be in multiple places at once? When will "things slow down"? And what do I do with my free time (future blog post)?

I'm open to suggestions and am taking applications for a personal assistant. Please sign up soon, before I lose your application or my sanity.

Signed - a real life, over committed, Mama!

Confidence

^{Confidence: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's cirrcumstances; the quality or state of being certain.}

How many of you can say you are confident according to this definition? What does it take to be confident? How do we boost other's confidence? Wow, 3 pretty loaded questions. I'm not usually this deep on a Sunday evening (insert inappropriate joke here), but I've been on a blogging hiatus so I'm coming back strong. 

Are you confident? What does that even mean? There are many different ways to be confident, feel confident, or look confident. Do you have to be comfortable to be confident? I've always felt like a confident person even when I have insecurities. Just like every other human, my confidence ebbs and flows. On days when my chest puffs out (figuratively, or literally I guess), I'm not afraid of much and I can take criticism and roll with it. Other days, I am one critique away from a sobbing mess. So, what does it take to be confident?

I've recently been discussing self acceptance with my 8th graders and trying to outline what it takes to be a good leader. They would say that a good leader must be confident in front of a crowd. A good leader is the popular kid. While I try to teach them that you don't have to be popular to be a good leader, I question whether my words are authentic. Are all good leaders confident? 

What does it take to be confident? Do you have to feel good about yourself to exude confidence? Do we seem confident if everyone thinks we have it together? Good job, house, spouse, life? Just ask Anthony Weiner or Miley Cyrus and I'm sure you'll get that question answered in a hurry. Sometimes the quiet girl in the back corner is the most sure of herself. Question is, how do we know? And if we're not sure, how do we boost other's confidence?

As a teacher, I'm learning to read students and teens every day. I see them tear each other down and build each other up. I hear them talk about their parents (that deserves another blog post) and to their parents. They're quick to judge, but slow to trust others judgement. I'm amazed at the wonders of their brains. I see one little comment from the popular crowd, completely rip them to shreds while they pretend to laugh it off. All the while, I'm realizing it doesn't stop after one has entered adulthood. Since we all must exist in a world where standards are unattainable, how do we keep each other grounded, but continue to build one another up?

It just takes one person to make your day. What if you made it your mission to compliment 1 person a day. Your hair looks great! Cute outfit, have you lost weight? You are so funny! I've noticed you put a lot of time into that lesson/presentation, I really enjoyed it. I'm certain you'll find it makes your day too. Sure, you can focus on the quiet girl in the corner first, but don't forget about the presenter who's leading the discussion while conquering her fear of speaking in front of a crowd. You know, the one who has sweat running down his back and is squeezing the "clicker" extra hard to hide the nervous shakes. Make sure to tell them you thought it was great. We all need to hear it from time to time.

10 Quick Tips to Breastfeeding

I've been cautious to write this posts because I was terrified I would jinx myself....but I think it's safe to say this chapter is behind us (for now) and I'm ready to share with the world what I've been sharing with one pregnant friend at a time. Enjoy!

10 Quick tips to Breastfeeding

1. First, commit to it. You can do this. Don't give yourself a way out. 

2. After he nurses for the very first time, apply lanolin then and every single time after. 

3. Switch positions every time he nurses. Football, Cradle, cross body. This will help you to not get sore in one spot and will help him be flexible. 

4. Nurse both sides and burp him in between. Example: nurse 15 minutes on right, burp, switch to left and let him nurse to contentment. Next feeding, start on left. This worked really well for me but you'll find your system!

5. Put the Soothies in the refrigerator and apply after lanolin. Heaven. They can only be used for 72 hrs and you have to wipe off the residue before nursing again. 

6. Its perfectly ok to get sore. If he's latching well then just try to ride it out. If you take him off and relatch it's going to hurt all over again. Myth of lactation consultants! 

It's also perfectly ok to cry because it hurts. It will get better, don't give up. 

7.Apply lanolin before showering. That shower water can feel like knives without it. 

8.If he's nursing for 45+ mins, it's ok to give him a pacifier. All he wants is to suck and your nipples will thank you for giving him one. 

9. Lastly, if you've tried everything and it's just not working, it's ok to supplement. You are not a failure and your husband will not "ship you". 

10. Oh and one more, have your husband help you. You've only got two hands and sometimes you'll need four. 

There's a strange bond between nursing women. It makes it ok to talk about nipples, boobs, etc. if you have any questions, just ask! I might not have the answer but it could help just to talk it out. 

Back to School

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you're not a teacher - and roll your eyes every time you hear a teacher complaining about having to go back to work after being off work all summer - stop reading here. I'll save you the eye roll!

It's that time of year again...you know when reality slaps ya right upside the head?!? You've all experienced it, as a student, parent, or TEACHER. You know what it feels like. The excitement to see the friends you haven't been able to keep in touch with. The dread of having to be in 7 places at one time. The fear of grading homework and writing lesson plans, while actually teaching those wonderful teenagers each day.

"BACK TO SCHOOL, BACK TO SCHOOL, to prove to dad I'm not a fool" - Adam Sandler, please tell me you knew that already!

I've been back at it for 10 days. And let me just tell you...those have been 10 action packed, balls to the walls days. That is, after all, the only way I do things. I started at a new school, with new kids, new staff, new responsibilities, and new adventures. What an awesome, fresh start! Don't get me wrong, I worked with some excellent colleagues and students at my previous job. 

But, then I moved home. HOME! People know me here, they stop in to say hi and ask if I need anything. I get friendly waves and hello's at the Dollar Store, town Mexican restaurant, and gas station. An abundance of folks have offered a helping hand whenever I might need one. It feels so right. My heart is bursting with the feeling of fulfillment. 

My son is literally two minutes down the road. TWO MINUTES. Refer to Hard Days if you're not sure why I am so excited about this minor fact. I can spontaneously have dinner with my 83 yr old Grandma and her OLDER sister. I've got back-up child care if I'm running late at school and my husband and I can actually go on DATES...overnight ones...more to come!

I'm not bragging. I hope if you don't live at home, this doesn't tug your heart strings. I appreciate living close because I've been away. I've found my purpose, my happy place. Have you found yours? 

Pay it Forward

Not quite a year ago, I picked Gman up from one of his very first days trying out his new daycare. As I was heading out to the car - flustered, as a new mom typically is...I noticed a $5 bill floating along on the sidewalk. I knew this was NOT my money and would soon blow away into the nearby cornfields, but I had already snapped him into his carseat base and could not go back inside to take the money in. I wrestled with whether or not I should take it, decided it would be picked up by a bird if I didn't, and then felt terrible ALL. THE. WAY. HOME. after I claimed it. I folded it into my wallet and considered myself guilty of Grand Theft Auto for at least 24 hours. That guilt was almost immediately forgotten when I realized my baby needed fed, burped, changed, rocked to sleep, fed, burped, changed, bathed and I also needed to do all of those things for myself. 

Fast forward a couple months...On my way to torture work, in the McD's drive-thru (because every new mom deserves McD's for breakfast, right?), majorly sleep deprived, and missing my baby like crazy. I think it was a Monday morning which made it even WORSE than usual. I noticed the person pulling in behind me was driving an older, used and abused vehicle, and had a scowl on their face that could match mine. That famed $5 bill reappeared in my wallet and I decided to pay it forward. I used the money to buy her breakfast. It wasn't my money to begin with and it filled my heart with so much joy seeing the smile on her face in my rear view mirror. Literally turned my whole week around. Simple things in life.

Since then, I've tried to buy for the person behind me at least 1 of every 3-4 times I'm in the drive-thru (the frequency of my drive-thru visits has been drastically reduced). I also look for other ways to "pay it forward" when it appears that someone is having a bad day. Holding open the door, an innocent smile, returning their cart to the cart corral, etc. Now, I'm no saint - and certainly don't need any recognition. There are others who do WAY more than I ever thought of. BUT - it's important to be reminded sometimes that small gestures make BIG differences.

What can you do to brighten someone's day? What small, unexpected gesture would you appreciate someone doing for you? I can't wait to hear how YOU are making a difference!