Just Being a Mom

For those who were previously unaware, I am an Ag teacher and this is National FFA Week. Suffice it to say that things are a little bat shit crazy. We have events almost every evening or morning. Oh - and throw Parent Teacher Conferences in the mix. Yea - and we are still remodeling. And - we still live with the rents. I'm still a Wife and a Mom. 

This week, this is my mantra. "Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are."

Today, a winter weather advisory blew in to the area. I immediately freaked. We were supposed to have Leadership Contest practice, and FFA basketball practice, and decorate lockers for tomorrow's Greenhand Day. How could I ever get all of those things done when all after school activities were canceled? Well I didn't. And so far, I've survived. Tonight, I was just a mom. I didn't go work on the house. I didn't work on school work. I wasn't an FFA advisor AND a mom. Or even a wife AND a mom. I, thankfully, got to just be a Mom. 

We played and laughed. We ran and we "all fell down". He helped me do laundry and fix dinner. Did I mention we played? We jumped on the bed, read books, enjoyed bath time, and made time for extra snuggles before I laid him down. I was just a Mom and it was exactly what I needed. 

Terrible Two's

I haven't done the research to find who coined the phrase "Terrible Two's", but I'd like to punch them in the throat. I assumed this wouldn't begin until age two. Wrong. Again. I'm pretty sure it is just a trial period for bipolar-ism. How in the world can my kid be completely melting down one second (screaming, kicking, hitting, biting, did I mention screaming?!?) and telling me he loves me the next? I'd like to slay the alien that kidnaps and inhabits my child's body for the 30 seconds it takes to turn him in to a total disaster. 

Here's a run-down of our daily fall-out: 
Bathroom Trip - Let's go pee like a big boy, Ok? Ok! Immediately followed by alligator tears for not wanting to go to the bathroom, no sticker, no big boy, no. period.
Dinner - asks for more broccoli (victory!) proceeds to throw broccoli on to the kitchen floor which causes him to cry because now his broccoli is all gone. 
Bed Time - Book Request? Charlie the Ranch Dog which is a crowd favorite, but tonight causes a biting melt down. Why, you may ask? Well...that is certainly a million dollar question. One, I am still trying to figure out. He proceeded to throw himself on the floor, resulting in tears because he fell. All we could do is laugh before we threw ourselves on the floor too. 

All of this ridiculousness is typical and is immediately followed by "Sowwy" and "I luhhyoutoo" which is all it takes to wrap my heartstrings around his little fingers.
Terrible One's, Two's, Three's, and 16's can't break my love for this little human...I just might need more wine and chocolate than is available in the tri-state area.

Politically Correct

Am I the only one who is tired of not being able to call it like it is? Why have we made it impossible to speak freely and have differing opinions without being called a bully or bigot? When did it become  necessary for all of us to agree, hug it out, and completely lose ourselves...forgetting how to stand up for anything?

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not ready to start another civil war and realize there are bullies and bigots who need to check theirselves before they wreck theirselves....BUT I'm tired of feeling like I need to skirt around sensitive topics because I can't heave an intelligent argument with FRIENDS. Yea, you read that correct, a disagreement with friends.

Kid President says "I disagree with you but I still like you as a person who is a human being and I will treat you like that because if I didn't it would make everything bad and too many people do that. it's ok to disagree but it's not ok to be mean." That kid SHOULD be president, his common sense is astounding. (and you should watch his videos) Remember, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. - Peter Hamilton

Now, please, go have an intelligent discussion with someone who can enlighten you about the opposing side of your argument. Don't be a hot head, or a douche bag. Just sit down and get smarter. Get passionate, do your research, use common sense, and form your OWN opinion. Quit letting other people, tv, magazines, Facebook, Twitter, and the internet in general form your thoughts and opinions. And finally, stand up for yourself (without yelling and demeaning your opposer). We all have a back bone, why is it so difficult for most people to use it?

I'm Such a Sucker

I've missed you all (all 3 of you I'm not related to). I could make excuses but I'll spare you. I'll also spare you the resolution I have. I don't want to set myself up for obvious failure. In my free time, I've been reading every heart wrenching blog and sobbing at every soul ripping video online. I'm not sure why I do that to myself. Especially when I'm sitting in the car dealership with tears streaming down my face. Awkward! I'm seriously such a sucker for these stories. It's constant reality check that my life is damn near perfect. I see parents lose little ones and hug mine a little tighter. I. Just. Can't. Imagine. I let every one of these stories tear right through my ever growing heart. It's like an accident in slow motion, I just can't  divert my attention. I

When I'm not staring at my phone crying for unexplained reasons, we are working on the never ending house remodel. I can't wait to tell you about it and finally announce its completion. Maybe, next year :)

Impeccable Timing

My son has impeccable timing. He responds with the appropriate animal sounds when we are alone, but refuses to perform in public. He always says bye bye as soon as the door closes. He laughs to be the center of attention in a large crowd and gives me the biggest smiles when I need it most. At the end of a busy long day, when I lay my head on my pillow, I hear his cries in the monitor. Impeccable timing. 

I won't lie, it frustrates me. And then I remember I was busy being a teacher and advisor all day. I wore myself down doing the job I get (paid) for. I didn't get to spend much time with the most important little man in my life. It's only on the busiest days that he uses his impeccable timing to remind me that Mom is my most important title. 

It's easy to get caught up in the stress of life. It's easy to get my priorities mixed up. And it's easy to get them right back in line, with a not so tiny little human, stretched out in my arms, snuggled up on my chest, making it harder to breathe the bigger he gets. Im reminded of one of my favorite books..."I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Finding a Balance

Seriously, how do women ever have more than one child? Why is it not more socially acceptable to be unemployed or have a part time job? Do you think I could get a few more hours in the day? When did I begin to function in a constant state of exhaustion? And finally, why am I blogging when I could be sleeping?

I'm obviously struggling to find the balance here. And I don't even have to cook, clean, or regularly do my laundry (thanks, Mom!). My iPhone calendar is a constant barrage of dots indicating I have a meeting or an event scheduled. I'm forgetful because I have too much to remember and some times I sit in my office or on the couch in a daze because I don't even know where to begin.

At my age, my mom had 3 children and was supporting my dad while he started a business. Earth to the Super Hero Association, who awards the Wonder Woman medals? I appreciate and admire her more and more each day.

I absolutely love this stage of my life, but I'm struggling to find a balance in my happy place. How do I give 100% to everything? How can I be in multiple places at once? When will "things slow down"? And what do I do with my free time (future blog post)?

I'm open to suggestions and am taking applications for a personal assistant. Please sign up soon, before I lose your application or my sanity.

Signed - a real life, over committed, Mama!

Confidence

^{Confidence: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's cirrcumstances; the quality or state of being certain.}

How many of you can say you are confident according to this definition? What does it take to be confident? How do we boost other's confidence? Wow, 3 pretty loaded questions. I'm not usually this deep on a Sunday evening (insert inappropriate joke here), but I've been on a blogging hiatus so I'm coming back strong. 

Are you confident? What does that even mean? There are many different ways to be confident, feel confident, or look confident. Do you have to be comfortable to be confident? I've always felt like a confident person even when I have insecurities. Just like every other human, my confidence ebbs and flows. On days when my chest puffs out (figuratively, or literally I guess), I'm not afraid of much and I can take criticism and roll with it. Other days, I am one critique away from a sobbing mess. So, what does it take to be confident?

I've recently been discussing self acceptance with my 8th graders and trying to outline what it takes to be a good leader. They would say that a good leader must be confident in front of a crowd. A good leader is the popular kid. While I try to teach them that you don't have to be popular to be a good leader, I question whether my words are authentic. Are all good leaders confident? 

What does it take to be confident? Do you have to feel good about yourself to exude confidence? Do we seem confident if everyone thinks we have it together? Good job, house, spouse, life? Just ask Anthony Weiner or Miley Cyrus and I'm sure you'll get that question answered in a hurry. Sometimes the quiet girl in the back corner is the most sure of herself. Question is, how do we know? And if we're not sure, how do we boost other's confidence?

As a teacher, I'm learning to read students and teens every day. I see them tear each other down and build each other up. I hear them talk about their parents (that deserves another blog post) and to their parents. They're quick to judge, but slow to trust others judgement. I'm amazed at the wonders of their brains. I see one little comment from the popular crowd, completely rip them to shreds while they pretend to laugh it off. All the while, I'm realizing it doesn't stop after one has entered adulthood. Since we all must exist in a world where standards are unattainable, how do we keep each other grounded, but continue to build one another up?

It just takes one person to make your day. What if you made it your mission to compliment 1 person a day. Your hair looks great! Cute outfit, have you lost weight? You are so funny! I've noticed you put a lot of time into that lesson/presentation, I really enjoyed it. I'm certain you'll find it makes your day too. Sure, you can focus on the quiet girl in the corner first, but don't forget about the presenter who's leading the discussion while conquering her fear of speaking in front of a crowd. You know, the one who has sweat running down his back and is squeezing the "clicker" extra hard to hide the nervous shakes. Make sure to tell them you thought it was great. We all need to hear it from time to time.