It's 'bout time I elaborated on my last post. Frankly, it's 'bout time I posted at all. It appears as though 45 people viewed my page when I blogged last and I don't want to let the 5 of you down that read my blog 9 times each. Thanks for boosting my confidence.
We're getting ready to go through a pretty drastic transition in our little, simple life. Let me just start with saying that we don't ever do anything lightly around here. Balls to the wall is the only language I speak. I started looking for job opportunities this past winter. Christmas has always been a stressful time with traveling all over the place and hauling an infant didn't make it any simpler. We decided to start looking and see what happened. I got a phone call this May from a dear friend telling me she would be resigning from her position as Ag Teacher / FFA Advisor at a little school approx 7 min from where I grew up. After much consideration, I applied for the job. Decided we would discuss it further if they wanted to interview me...and then we would have a decision to make if I was offered the job. The interview felt so right that I hoped they would offer me the job. As luck God would have it, they offered and I accepted. Here's to new beginnings!
So, here we sit - wondering what C will do for a job. And then, as if it hasn't all been so perfect and easy up to this point. He gets an interview, followed quickly (practically instantly) by a job offer. He accepts and now we are two gainfully employed individuals in the region I grew up. What's next? Well, a house I guess. We need to sell ours, find a new place to make home, and pack all of our belongings.
In the next 30 days, we still need to sell our house (ideally), box up this little packed house, move (location TBD), and start two new jobs. G will need new childcare and I just found out I'll be a district adviser for this school year. Quite an honor, but a whole new list of responsibilities. We'll also be throwing in a 1st birthday party in the mix. Remember when I said balls to the wall is the only language I speak? I think that translates to 1-way ticket to the Crazy house.
We are so blessed and so looking forward to these new opportunities. I know our house will sell in due time and we will find a place to live. While I am incredibly excited, I'm also sad to leave behind 3 years worth of memories in our first home. This is where we first moved in together, shared many great nights with friends, and brought home our son (in his perfectly decorated nursery). So many people have helped this town feel like home and have become our extended family. I'm going to miss them so much. I hope they'll come to our New Year's party at our new house and litter our new yard with beer cans to ensure the neighbors we bring a little redneck to the neighborhood. Cheers to Smooth Transitions and a lot of beer to make it seem that way.
Do you ever have those days where you just feel like you dominated the world?!? Like, boo ya biatch I owned these 24 hours...
No? That's just me? Shit, I was sure there were others of you that felt so immensely blessed that you just didn't know what to do with yourselves.(All 5 of my readers...)
On days like this, I wonder when/if it will all come crashing down. Depressing, right? Just human nature I suppose, but for now....I'm going to soak in all of this wonderfulness. The calm before the storm.
You know the saying, What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for today? Well, my list is pretty long tonight and I want to make sure it is all still there tomorrow. Soooo, here goes:
- Husband - When my heart feels this full, I wonder how I could ever love him more...and then he finds a way for me to fall more in love with him (conspiracy, I'm sure...)
- Opportunity - New, old, and undiscovered...I'm thankful for it all
- Parents - better than yours, guaranteed
- Siblings - better than yours, don't fight it
- Friends - near, far...I love them all
- My son - seriously, I'd put every damn bumper sticker I could find on my car to let you know how awesome he is...and your bulldog ain't got nothin on my honor roll student (11 months old...too soon?)
- Blessings - they're abundant and I thank Him for every single one of them
- Sunshine with a Breeze - perfect way to get a
sunburn Tan
- Cows - if I woke up tomorrow without these black beauties, my world would be awry
- Faith - 'nuff said
- Chocolate
What are you thankful for? If your list is shorter tonight, find the silver lining - because someone ALWAYS has it worse than you. #abundantlyblessed
I'm human, I understand this...but it doesn't mean I don't have a battle with myself over judgement. I find myself judging myself and others way too often. Now that I am home from school and spending all day, every day with my handsome little man these judgements come more often than I would like.
As I attempt to go to the restroom, while my son pulls himself practically up onto my lap - I wish for 1 minute to myself. I just want to pee alone...And then, I judge myself. Why am I so selfish? There are mothers who wish for 1 more minute with the children they have lost, women who await motherhood that wish for 1 minute with a baby...and I am wishing for 1 minute without mine.
When I log on to facebook and see pictures of people going out, doing things, taking couples/friends vacations, I judge them. I wonder when they'll grow up, why they feel the need to continue to act like 21 yr olds, how can they be away from their kids for that long?!? And then - I realize I'm a bit jealous of them. I can count on 1 hand the number of times my husband and I have been "out", away from our son since the day he was born. I'm envious of their ability to still be an individual and a couple. I wish for the time to do those things, but realize I'm the only one that can make that time. When we do make the time to go out, I give myself a guilt trip the ENTIRE time. I check on him, check the time, talk about him, and countdown the hours, minutes until I can get back to him.
I don't just judge parents...I judge everyone. I see a person walking down the street and wonder why they don't have a car. I look at the person wearing shorts on a cold day and wonder why they didn't think to put pants on that morning. I drive past a hitch hiker and automatically assume that bad choices led them to be alone, on the side of the road.
What if the person walking down the street decided to take in the beauty of the outdoors for a day? What if they don't have a car, but are still making the effort to go to work? What if the kid with shorts on in the winter doesn't have pants? Or a TV to check the weather that morning? What if a hitch hiker wants to spread God's word and just needs a passerby to pick him/her up and listen?
Why am I so judgmental? I desperately wish to have an open mind and open heart, but am stopped by my human thoughts all the time. I know that other people judge me when I am the mom with the screaming, messy kid in a restaurant...or the mom with the kid who can't be still and quiet through a church service. But I like to believe he brings joy to someone's open heart.
I'm human and I'll never fully stop judging people/things/situations, but I hope my "good" side always wins the internal battle and I can see the good in every situation.
