Jolly Holly Days

Woah...I woke up this morning feeling like I got ran over by a reindeer. We've been non stop celebrating Christmas since the start of Christmas Eve church service at 6 pm on Dec. 24. It's been so much fun celebrating with a very vocal 2 yr old who can turn squeals of excitement in to words about just how much he loves his new blue tractor, combine, shimmer cow, or shopping cart. I have loved every second of this non stop celebration. Until today. 

Today is Sunday which means its church day. Ugh, I didn't want to get up and do anything! I didn't want to shower, get dressed, OR go to church. I was tired of being jolly, tired of celebrating, tired of going, tired of doing. Bah Humbug. But today wasn't just any Sunday. Today was a special Sunday where we would be worshiping at a different church for a different occasion. Today wasn't about me or my pajamas, today was about Katie and Josh. Today was bittersweet. Today was hard. Today was important.

I don't typically talk about my family (directly) on this blog. After all, they deserve privacy, but I don't think Katie nor Josh would mind me sharing a little bit of their story. Katie is my "little" cousin. We grew up in the country as each other's only neighbors. Our moms are sisters and had 5 kids in 5 years. Katie and I were the only girls. We grew up doing pretty much everything together while still remaining individuals. We spent a lot of time together. 

Katie met Josh in high school. They've been together ever since. It hasn't always been easy, but they've always remained by each other's sides. After graduating college, they got married in 2011. Josh began pastoring at Waynesburg Christian Church, where he grew up. We were pregnant at the same time and our boys were born exactly one month apart. The last year has been an incredibly difficult one for Katie and Josh. Very quickly after finding out Katie was pregnant with their second child, she got a kidney stone. This is not abnormal for Kate because she gets kidney stones like the average person gets headaches. However, Katie wasn't able to pass this kidney stone and her pregnancy further complicated treatment. A nephrostomy tube was placed in Kate's back to drain her kidney. All was great, until it got infected. Katie got sepsis - an infection in the blood stream and landed in the ICU. I know its impossible to understand through words, but we were VERY close to losing her. Miraculously, she never lost her baby. Katie continued to battle kidney stones throughout her pregnancy, she continued to get infections, she continued to be sick. She also had a toddler and prayerfully began a new journey with Josh, church planting. A very health baby boy was born in October and we all hoped that Katie's kidney problems would end with her pregnancy. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. She has continued to be sick and struggle with infection and pain since October. Throughout all of her medical journey, they have pursued church planting and will be leaving to do a church planting residency next week. They'll move to another state for 18 months and learn how to be church planters. 

This has been an amazing journey for them. They've had to raise 18 months salary and recently had a 30K in 30 days campaign. I'm anxiously awaiting the results of that, but I am just sure they made it. You can learn more about their journey here and how you can be a part of it. I strongly encourage you to keep up with what they are doing. Great things are in store for them. 

Katie has always been an inspiration to me. She is a woman of intense faith, an amazing wife, mom, and friend. She is selfless. She doesn't complain. She is amazing. Josh is a lucky man to have her as his wife. I'm going to miss her tremendously. 

Today was about celebrating them, sending them off, and wishing them well. Today was bittersweet. Today was hard, but today was important. 

Matthew 28:19-20(ESV)

19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Weeks 19 and 20

12/19/14

How far along?  19 Weeks

Total weight gain: 0 – thanks to the stomach virus
Maternity clothes? Can still wear some regular tops, but none of my jeans button

Sleep: When my toddler allows it
Best moment this week: Movement

Miss Anything? A Life without restriction. Carrying things, going places, doing things without being treated like I’m incapable.

Movement: Flutters, Kickboxing

Food cravings: All things salty

Anything making you queasy or sick: Sweets - weird

Gender: Surprise!
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: None pregnancy related, stomach virus = hell

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy except for the 8 straight hours I threw up every 15 minutes. I’ll spare you the gory details, but…yuck!

Looking forward to: Everything!

Graham Moment this week: He says so many funny things. He told his Mims this week, “I have a baby in my belly and it’s a wonderful experience.” Where in the world does he come up with these things?

The look of "awe" in his eyes!

Halfway there!

12/26/14

How far along?  20 Weeks

Total weight gain: Back to 0…again, thanks to the stomach virus…I’ve developed quite the bump. See picture
Maternity clothes? I love having an excuse to wear stretchy clothes all the time!

Sleep: When my toddler allows it, I’m not sure why or how he wakes so frequently, but it would be awesome if he slept like a toddler instead of an infant!
Best moment this week: Christmas! It was the most wonderful Christmas we have had yet. We finally got the opportunity to wake up in our own home on Christmas morning. Graham was able to verbalize his excitement which makes Christmas so much more enjoyable. I can’t wait to share it with you next year!

Miss Anything? No, my life is pretty normal

Movement: Flutters, Kickboxing, Fist Pumping

Food cravings: My appetite has decreased significantly from that dreaded stomach virus. I’m eating half of what I was before.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Sweets. What a time of the year to not want or enjoy sweets. Bummer!

Gender: Surprise!
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: None

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Who could be anything but overjoyed at Christmas time with a 2 yr old?!?

Looking forward to: Daddy and Graham feeling you move!

Graham’s Best Moment This Week: Christmas. Have I mentioned how much he loves his blue tractor??

Transparent

I'm just as guilty as the next girl. I want my life to look perfect to the outside world. It's actually pretty desperate and sad. I post all of the good stuff, take pictures when everyone looks cute, and talk about how awesome everything is. When in reality, sometimes that is as far from the truth as possible. I know I still have it pretty great, and I'm not about to air my dirty laundry online, BUT I am real and I have real struggles. I know you have real struggles too. I'm just about as far from perfect as possible.

I spend entirely too much time at work. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but I need to practice saying no. My family deserves to have a wife and mom who makes them a priority. Most would say that's easy...just do it. However, most are not teachers, Ag teachers who have almost 100 FFA members who depend on them for more than the average school day allows. And wait, you want me to grade papers from 155 students, teach class, update technology, coach CDE teams, plan meetings, fundraisers, and events. Yea - say no to all of that. It is so hard!

I spend too much time on trivial things. I desperately WANT to be crafty, cute, and have a perfect home that is clean all of the time. I still need to hang curtains, decorate, install hardware on all of my cabinets, and refinish some furniture. I spend about 5 minutes on Pinterest and have a list a mile long of things I need to do. I hope my husband is ok with my saying that I plan on staying here for a VERY long time. We have been blessed with a BEAUTIFUL home and perfection takes time. I need to give myself a break. I also need to QUIT COMPARING myself to other people.

I don't spend near enough time just being a wife. I was a wife first. Before there were three (almost 4), it was just us. Long before I am ever ready, it will just be us again. I need to be a wife, first. I need to be a wife before ANYTHING else. I need reminded of this daily. I have a husband who has needs. I need to put those first. I struggle with this daily.

I find myself being consumed by what others think sometimes. I could spend an entire conversation wondering if I am asking enough questions or talking too much about myself. I never want to seem self-absorbed or disinterested. I actually have a mental tally in my head about how much time I am spending talking compared to listening. I worry about how I am perceived. I carelessly and freely have conversations where I will say...so and so, yea they are great. so sweet, etc...While I wish I could over hear someone's conversation about me. What would they say? I can only hope that it would be positive. I always operate with the best intentions at heart. I hope that is always how they are perceived.

I'm only human. I'm a constant work in progress. Yet among all of these insecurities, I am confident. I am happy. I am blessed beyond belief. Each night when I put my son to bed, we say, "Dear Jesus, Thank you for today." And I truly mean every single word of that. I'm thankful for each second, whether it be laced with stress and worry or bouncing with blessings. I'm grateful for it all. It means I get one more day to become the best me I can be.

Bambino Update!

Bringing you a wonderful Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Christmas deal. 3 blogs for the rock bottom price of ONE!

How far along?  16 Weeks

Total weight gain: Not looking
Maternity clothes? Yes…maternity clothes are in full force. Took all of my regular clothes out of my closet

Sleep: As often as possible
Best moment this week: Thanksgiving without morning sickness. Yum!

Miss Anything? No. Life is so normal that I sometimes forget I am pregnant.

Movement: Yes! Little flutters here and there. So cool to feel movement again.

Food cravings: Nothing in particular

Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of beer

Gender: Surprise!
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Nothing

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!
Looking forward to: Movement – I can’t wait to feel you wiggle, jiggle, and dance around in there!

Graham’s Moment of the Week: Graham got a big boy bed this week and we took down the crib in his room, sorted through all of his too small clothes, and rearranged his furniture. It was a lot to take in one day, but we are all adjusting. Graham has also named you Princess and when asked if he wants a baby brother or baby sister...he says (exasperated) "It's a baaaaaaby, Mom."

How far along?  17 Weeks

Total weight gain: Still too scared. You’d think I had packed on 30 lbs by the way everyone looks at me.
Maternity clothes? All in...goodbye buttons!

Sleep: Am I narcoleptic? Getting some energy back.
Best moment this week: Daddy felt movement this week!

Miss Anything? The ability to rest like I did when I was pregnant with G. 2 yr olds don't rest…

Movement: It has to be quiet, I have to be still, but I feel this little miracle!

Food cravings: Olives

Anything making you queasy or sick: Beer and tobacco…the usual

Gender: Surprise!
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Feeling pretty good!

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Stressed! Happy!
Looking forward to: Our ultrasound! I love seeing your sweet little self.

Graham Moment this Week: Sometimes I lose track of how funny your very sweet big brother is. He is going to be the BEST big brother…as long as you don’t touch his toys.

How far along?  18 Weeks

Total weight gain: 1.5 lbs - boom! I was terrified to see that number.
Maternity clothes? All in to my stretchy life. I love it now, I’ll hate it in 5 months.

Sleep: Except for the night your brother had a stomach virus, sleep is pretty great.
Best moment this week: Seeing your sweet little self on the ultrasound…especially through Graham’s eyes!

Miss Anything? Pants with shape…all of my pants are too short and too baggy!

Movement: Flutters, kickboxing, rolling

Food cravings: Sweet tooth this week. I love ice cream!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing

Gender: Surprise! I considered finding out but we didn't. Or did we? You'll never know!
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: I have a cough that just won’t go away!

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! So Happy! I’m starting to think about planning your nursery and getting excited about everything.
Looking forward to: Getting started on your nursery. I can’t wait to make a space just for you!

Graham Moment this week: I told G we were going to see the baby at the dr’s office…he looked at me, concerned, and said…Mommy, you left your baby at the doctor?!?

PS - I should start taking some bump pics. I am a few weeks behind. 

Surprise!

Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I am still alive...and pregnant! So, I'm going to journal about this pregnancy. I'll try to update more frequently, but I promise you don't want this over stressed, super tired mama writing any more tonight. 

11/21/14

How far along?  15 Weeks

Total weight gain: The scale is not my friend…already showing and everyone is already letting me know about it. When did that become socially acceptable?!?
Maternity clothes? Yes, gave up on trying to wear regular clothes already. About 4 weeks ahead of last pregnancy. Yikes!

Stretch marks? Existing battle wounds from Round 1.
Sleep: I could sleep for days if older brother would sleep all night. Having a two yr old who is afraid of EVERYTHING is making this pregnant mama tired!
Best moment this week: Everytime Graham talks about “his” baby. My heart fills with joy.

Miss Anything? Sleep filled, stress free days. And a beer (or 5) on stressful days!

Movement: No

Food cravings: Pickles & Olives. I’ve always loved the 2 but could eat them every day.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Smells and textures

Gender: Surprise!
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: I’ve felt pretty great this week!

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!
Looking forward to: Movement – It is the single most thing I have missed about being pregnant. 

Bursting my Bubble

I woke up early this morning with butterflies in my stomach. Even at 27, I still get first day of school jitters. I was pumped! I had previously chosen my outfit, spent hours days weeks of summer "vacation" preparing my classroom, and was thoroughly excited about implementing my new curriculum. The morning was a blur as I was busy catching up with previous students and getting to know new ones. By 3:00, I thought...this day MUST be too good to be true?!? It was smooth sailing and I was feeling great about the coming year. The kids were excited, I was excited...the year is going to be awesome!

And then...I got on Facebook. (why?)... after scrolling mindlessly through many posts about back to school, I came across one that just burnt right through me. Before I comment on it, I should say that this is not a personal attack on the poster. This is not even directed toward the poster OR the commenters...it's about the high schoolers who are feeling this way, already complaining about school. I've been on the outside so I get what it must look like, but now I am on the inside so I'd like to provide a peak for those that are not. 

"...high school must stink nowadays bc I haven't read one positive thing from any of the high schoolers..." 

Just like any quote, there were words before and after, but this part is what got me. The poster asked for others to share their opinions...Many people commented about how teachers pile homework on the first day and high school should be all about social networking. Wait, did I read that correctly?  Is that really what these kids think? 

First of all, teachers don't get to choose what we cover in our subject area. We are given standards by the Department of Education that we are required to cover. When we take a closer look at them, it seems that there is about 220 days worth of information to cover in 180 without considering pep rally's, school day meetings, testing, and all of the student's appointments/sick days that MUST be scheduled during the school day. Not only is what we teach mandated, how well your student performs determines our pay check. Literally. If your child is completely uninterested in Agriculture and I put on a smoke show every single day to try to engage them, but they still don't care enough to do their assignments and give a shit on their assessments, I don't get a raise...ever. It doesn't matter how long I have been teaching or how many chances I give them to do and re-do work, if they don't care - I get punished. Period.

While it may seem that teachers continually PILE on homework, I find it hard to believe that ANY teacher would intentionally give pointless and ridiculous assignments just because. Your student does ONE assignment for that teacher - they grade ALL of them. If I give daily assignments to each of my students, I have 150 assignments to grade every single day. Ain't nobody got time for that! However, it is a requirement of teachers to post grades at regular intervals. And get this, the same parents/students that complain about the excessive amount of homework that is assigned, complain when there is no homework assigned and there are minimal grades in the gradebook. We just can't win!

But here is what it really boils down to. The kids I saw in the hallway today were excited to be back in school and eager to meet the new year. They were laughing, chatting, and enjoying the new"ness" of the year, but as soon as I asked them if they were happy to be back, they instantly grumbled. Just like my teenage self did...who likes school any way? It would be so not cool to admit that they had a great first day...especially on facebook.

You know what would be super cool though? If the parents, adults, older siblings, and community members didn't fuel their dislike for school and instead, told them how important it was/is to get an education. That their teachers do their very best every day to help prepare them for college, careers, and life. Often taking time away from their own families to help each student succeed. This stuff really does matter and you have used it in a real world situation. Instead of complaining to the teacher when their students are "bogged down" with homework, help the students understand that it is a privilege to attend school freely and without persecution. Because, there are many places in the world that is absolutely NOT the situation. 

Mom Time

I've posted previously about struggling with how to be a wife, mom, teacher, advisor, friend, sister, aunt, cousin, niece, granddaughter, and person all at the same time. In order to remain sane, it is necessary to spend some time just being Me. I have some go to activities that I like to do when I get a chance to just be me. I like to enjoy breakfast or lunch on my new patio in the quiet. I love to grab a Shaken Iced Black Tea from Starbucks and stroll through Target. I really enjoy getting my nails and toes done a couple times a month. I used to like to run (when I was in shape). I love to read. 

None of these things, in my opinion, are crazy unusual or high maintenance. Every thing on the list was done on the regular before I joined the mom ranks. Now, when I get the opportunity to do these things I INSTANTLY feel guilt, regret, and shame wash over me. How can I, a really busy lady, justify taking a couple hours at a nail salon when I could be coloring on the floor with one of my favorite people in the world? Do I even deserve this? What kind of mom am I to ditch my kid for an afternoon of shopping? I usually set a time limit in my head for a reasonable amount of "me time." If I go over that by 1 minute, I regret the entire experience. 

The internal struggle I feel is immense. I deserve this...but do I? There are women all over the place who are desperate to become a mom, but struggle with infertility or miscarriage. Moms who are desperate for one more minute with a little one that was taken too soon. So, friends and followers...how do you justify "me time" without feeling guilty? 

Happy 2nd Birthday, G!

I love nothing more than putting together a successful event where our family and friends can get together and enjoy one another's company. G man's birthday was no different. Being back "home" in the County I grew up in means that our little man will almost always celebrate his birthday during the 4-H fair. What's a little added stress, anyway ?

Graham loves Choo Choo's right now so we planned a Thomas the Train Birthday party. I wanted it to be centered around Thomas, but not Thomas overload. I think we had a good balance.

Cake by Heartsville Sweets

 I found a lot of inspiration from Pinterest, but came to the realization that I am NOT a full time party planner with an unlimited budget. By Saturday around noon, I was in complete bitch mode because I had placed entirely too much pressure on myself. I had a major reality check when I yelled at Graham for "ruining" one of HIS party decorations. Seriously, it was HIS birthday and I was freaking out. I took a deep breath (and drank a beer), told myself to RELAX, and focus more on having a happy toddler and less on a perfect birthday. While I love planning parties and making decorations, I am no where near a super human. So, next year...we're ordering pizza. (haha, like that will ever happen!)

To The Class of 2014

Dude, I haven't posted since April 14th...class of 2014, don't be like me. 

To the Class of 2014, wow...you made it! I mean, it has only taken you 12 years (13 if you went to mandatory kindergarten...for those that didn't, that explains a lot) It really is about time. You've had at least 13 teachers...probably more, but I never claimed to teach math, and multiply that by infinity <--yea, that many homework assignments. You've had friends, changed friends, switched boyfriends/girlfriends with your friends, and remained friends. Up until this point in your life, you've woken up, gone to school, gone to work, copied done homework, maybe played sports, and had a couple hours minutes of free time here and there. You have the world in the palm of your hands, you can do whatever you set your mind to, and you'll absolutely shit rainbows and sunshine for the rest of your days. 

I've told you before - life is about to get real. Really real. I understand that some of you have had some pretty tough times in the past 13 years. Most of you, have not. Please, hold on...because this ride is full of twists, turns, peaks, valleys, and 360 degree loop-ty loops that will knock you flat. 

No matter what the future holds for you, promise me the following. 

Please, do not drink yourselves dead. Really though - that shit will kill you. I know you are going to drink, get drunk, and wake up with a hangover that will leave you wishing you were dead. Always remember, alcohol can kill you (and allow a lot of other stupid/regrettable things to happen). Party with friends you trust, and if you don't trust them...have sober fun. Trust me. 

Drugs are ALWAYS a bad idea. Getting rufied is a real thing. Don't leave your drink unattended and don't let some random mix you a drink without keeping your eye on it. I am not stupid (and I am human), I know you are going to party. Please, party smart.

While we are on the topic of partying and stupidity, DON'T get arrested. Criminal records do not look good on background checks. 

Don't be that girl. Living in a dorm my freshman year in college, I knew a lot of "those girls". You know, the ones who like to flirt, lead guys on, and be the center of attention at a frat party. I promise you that someone is going to get the wrong idea and think you actually do want him to walk you home (in college speak, to your bed) and won't take "no" for an answer. Unless you have been working on a pretty tough upper cut - don't be that girl. 

Don't be that guy - you know, the douche bag one I mentioned above. It might seem far off, but no one wants to take a one night stand home to meet their mama. Think about that.

Go to class. Honestly, you your parents are paying an arm and a leg (maybe a testicle/ovary) for your college education. Skip every now and then, but go on the regular - even if you are hungover. There are trash cans in classrooms for a reason. It is amazing how the information sticks in your mind to make you answer the one question right you need to pass that mid-term exam. D, however does not equal bachelor's degree. 

Do party with your friends (bowling, ice cream, board games, flippy cup, beer pong - whatever your style). Dance in the middle of the dance floor (NOT on a pole) even if no one else will join you. Go places on the weekend...scrape up some pennies and do stuff.  Ask your parents for advice. Love yourself. Soak in every single second because it will fly by and rock your face off. 

Soon (but not too soon!) your Friday nights will consist of a much messier/chaotic dinner, perfectly timed around an 8:00 bed time routine. While I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, I will save those details for your 5 year reunion speech. 

PS - this was meant to be advice that no one else would tell you. That mushy crap, I believe all of that too - you've just heard it enough. 

Life's Purpose

Today I read a post on a friend's Facebook wall. As a fellow educator, someone had said some pretty hurtful things to her. It discouraged and disheartened me. It minimized what we do. You see, I'm just a teacher. I don't make much money. I'm just a teacher. My field is a "waste of time" and not a "good option" for graduating seniors. There's too much "Red Tape" in education. You mean, you're going to college to be a teacher?!?

Damn Right I am. I am so much more than "just" a teacher. I have a unique opportunity to see my "kids" in and outside of the classroom. I am an Agriculture teacher. It is my job to teach my students where their food comes from, to get their hands dirty, and to develop an understanding of both sides of the fence (producer and consumer). I am an FFA Advisor. I see these kids do things they never thought was possible, and do them well. I don't ever have to worry about fulfilling my contractual obligations because I'm there when the lights come on and well after the computer tells them that the school day is over. I'm so much more than "just a teacher". When kids come in my classroom, I ask them how they are and I genuinely mean it. I give them free days and work days and Fun Fridays because they need to learn those things too. But I'm not alone. I am surrounded by amazing educators every. single. day. We are just teachers, but we make a difference. Not every day, not with every kid, and not by 100% on every exam, but we do make a difference.

Tonight, I listened to 12 students participate in an interview. 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th graders who were so nervous they were near tears as they answered questions about why the wanted to be an FFA Officer. Why they wanted to represent their chapter. They absolutely amazed me. I have never been more proud to "just be a teacher." Those 12 students reminded me exactly why I teach. It is who I am. It is who God created me to be and it is my purpose. When the day comes that I am no longer passionate about why I teach, I will consider other options.

Because even though I barely got to see my son for an hour today, it was all worth it. I can only hope that he is blessed with someone who chose to just teach when he goes to school. After all, that is exactly what he deserves.

#FatKidProblems

Alright, that title might be a bit harsh. I am talking about myself, however, so someone needs to be harsh. Winter is always a motivation killer. No one wants to get outside in the nasty Indiana weather. Comfort food is calling. Days are short and gloomy. And those Holidays. #blegh! I am fairly certain that everything I worked off last summer, found its' way back with a buddy. I'd like to say I'm pretty pissed about it, but I enjoyed it. That, my friends, is sick...and embarrassing. Why did I choose to announce it on the world wide web? Accountability, I guess. I seriously can't be trusted. I ran 2.2 miles and did Yoga tonight and you know what I am thinking about? Double Stuffed Oreos #fatkidproblems Oh and there's ice cream in the freezer. I literally locked myself in our room the other day so I wouldn't be tempted to have dessert after dinner. See ya on My Strange Addiction... Kidding, kind of. I've been telling myself for the last month that it is time to get my ass in gear. I'll start tomorrow. every day. 

I know I can do this, I've done it before. I have to do it again. I promised myself I would start my second pregnancy lighter than the first. So, before I board the pregnancy band wagon, it really is time to shed these pounds. 25 of them have to go. I felt great when I got married and I want to feel that again. It's time. Not tomorrow, TODAY. The days are long enough that I can run after I put G to bed. I have enough Visalus shake mix to accomplish this goal and feel great while I do it. 

Please hold me accountable. Even if it might be harsh. I want this. Today's the day. Will you join me? 

When "Thank You" isn't enough

I have amazing people in my life. People whom I will never be able to repay. People who leave me speechless at their willingness to drop everything and help (me) when they have a million other things to do. There are times when a simple "Thank You" isn't enough. Tonight is one of those times. 

To My husband - who should probably get some kind of a medal. These last few months have absolutely not been easy and you've been a trooper. I'm forever grateful that we are on this journey together. I love you so much more than words can explain. even when I'm being a brat.

First, my parents. I don't deserve them. My Dad has single-handedly been the general contractor on this house remodel from the beginning, while running a business. He gets up between 415 and 430 every single morning, goes to work, comes home for a change of clothes, and heads over to "the cabin" where you can find him until 8 or 9 pm every. single. night. Since September. No joke. And he's 52. How could I ever Thank him for that? My mom has kept it all going. She is practically managing two households, grocery shopping, planning meals, doing laundry, cleaning up, running errands, for a family of 5 instead of 2, and still offers to help me keep up with things at school. She. never. stops. If she isn't at her home, she is helping me make our home "perfect". Did I mention that she also watches G with his cousin one day a week and many more nights than she should have to. These are just things my mom and dad do for Casey and I. They are also constantly doing for my brothers' families, church families, and their siblings' families as well. And they never blink an eye. Ever. While I was on spring break this past week, my parents worked from sun up to sun down to help us move in to our house. Thank you is like a needle in a hay stack for what they deserve. Did I mention they have let us live with them for the last 9 months. And they genuinely love it. 

My brothers and their amazing wives. One of them lives 3 hours away, but they constantly text and call asking for pictures and to see the house the only way they are able. They are thoughtful and sincere and I love them dearly. The other, has been on vacation - and on their first day home, when they need to do their own catch-up, they give me their whole entire day. The whole thing. Without hesitation. They don't have to do these things for me, but they do. because they are awesome. This is just a glimpse of the things in which I should thank them for. 

Aunt Jackie and Uncle Bill - they've always been my second parents, which means they are always there for me by default. And it isn't like they haven't had enough things going on in their lives. They show up early, and stay late to help out. They bring food...and it isn't just any food, it is delicious. Always. They don't have to do any of this, but they do and a simple "thank you" just won't cut it for them. 

My cousins. One has been in ICU - the intensive. care. unit. she still checks in to see how things are going. And she has a toddler. Yea, she's awesome. The other - just had a new baby girl...their first baby girl. This sweet baby's mama came over this week to help. Did I mention she just had a baby - like 2 weeks ago? She strapped that baby on like a champ and got right to work - with her mom, because her mom is awesome too. And then, she let her husband out of the house for practically the entire day on a saturday - one of the 2 days he gets to spend with his new, fresh, sweet baby girl. He gave it to me - to help us out. "Thank you" will never be enough for them (or his in-laws, who came just because. they are so awesome!).

My grandparents - who come just to see the new house, marvel at it's beauty, and make vegetable soup. And then offer to help any way they can. I'm 27 so the g-parents are getting up there...(sorry if you are reading this!) but they have no business helping us move. The fact that they even offer to help is enough to be grateful for. Their giving hearts are something I wish to inherit. And pass on. 

I know I am forgetting people. My Aunt Cindy left her husband's birthday lunch to spend an afternoon washing boxed up dishes at our house. Thank you! My Uncle Vance, comes by almost daily - just to stop by and brings popcorn. Thank You! Please don't be offended if I forgot someone, I'm running on little sleep, but THANK YOU!

I want to shout it from the rooftops - Thank YOU! I owe you and I promise to pay it back or forward - for as long as it takes. I aspire to be like you. 

sorry for this jumbled mess. My graciousness has me blubbering like an idiot. 

Who's to blame?

Prepare yourself for my opinion: this is my blog after all. 

Last week, I had a conversation with a very nice man. We covered quite a few topics, but there's one that struck me and has resonated with me since. He said when he was in 8th grade, very few students in a rather large class weighed over 200 lbs, had asthma, allergies, or other chronic health problems plaguing our youth today. He then proceeded to tell me to look at my 8th graders and see if I could say the same.  Without giving me time to disagree, he said there could only be one common denominator....how we grow, prepare, and consume food. 

WAIT. JUST. ONE. MINUTE. Am I in a chipotle ad? When you walked through the Ag shop, did you fail to realize I was an Ag teacher? Are we really blaming the obesity epidemic on food? I can guarantee you that the sleeve of Girl Scout cookies I just ate are not responsible for my expanding waist line. My hand, controlled by my brain, placing each and every single delicious thin mint in to my mouth is responsible. 

Not the GMOs that help us feed the ever growing population, or even the antibiotics that keep my animals healthy. I know it isn't the use of naturally produced hormones that has helped us reach a much more efficient rate of production or even the pesticides, dye colors, and preservatives. I can blame absolutely no one single person or thing except for myself. 

Have we ever considered that "kids these days" are lazy because we have spent generations working our asses off to make their lives easier? It takes less farmers to feed us which allows for more families to have the privilege to get off the school bus and lay on the couch watching tv for hours until dinner is ready. The dinner that practically jumped off the grocery shelf in to your high tech cart with holes for your overpriced latte. We have developed technology to make our lives easier and information readily available. It isn't necessary to physically get off the couch to turn the channel on the tv or walk the aisles in the library searching for the information necessary to complete our homework assignments. 

So many of our ancestors worked for us to get to this point of complacency. Now...If it isn't easy, they don't want it. I just want to quit blaming everyone else and start taking the blame ourselves. It's not my fault as a teacher for students that are failing. It isn't the pencils fault for misspelling words. A gun doesn't kill people. Food is NOT making people fat. You are making yourself fat. Now, get off your ass and do something about it. 

Ill be cheering from the couch. Kidding, 

Just Being a Mom

For those who were previously unaware, I am an Ag teacher and this is National FFA Week. Suffice it to say that things are a little bat shit crazy. We have events almost every evening or morning. Oh - and throw Parent Teacher Conferences in the mix. Yea - and we are still remodeling. And - we still live with the rents. I'm still a Wife and a Mom. 

This week, this is my mantra. "Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are."

Today, a winter weather advisory blew in to the area. I immediately freaked. We were supposed to have Leadership Contest practice, and FFA basketball practice, and decorate lockers for tomorrow's Greenhand Day. How could I ever get all of those things done when all after school activities were canceled? Well I didn't. And so far, I've survived. Tonight, I was just a mom. I didn't go work on the house. I didn't work on school work. I wasn't an FFA advisor AND a mom. Or even a wife AND a mom. I, thankfully, got to just be a Mom. 

We played and laughed. We ran and we "all fell down". He helped me do laundry and fix dinner. Did I mention we played? We jumped on the bed, read books, enjoyed bath time, and made time for extra snuggles before I laid him down. I was just a Mom and it was exactly what I needed. 

Terrible Two's

I haven't done the research to find who coined the phrase "Terrible Two's", but I'd like to punch them in the throat. I assumed this wouldn't begin until age two. Wrong. Again. I'm pretty sure it is just a trial period for bipolar-ism. How in the world can my kid be completely melting down one second (screaming, kicking, hitting, biting, did I mention screaming?!?) and telling me he loves me the next? I'd like to slay the alien that kidnaps and inhabits my child's body for the 30 seconds it takes to turn him in to a total disaster. 

Here's a run-down of our daily fall-out: 
Bathroom Trip - Let's go pee like a big boy, Ok? Ok! Immediately followed by alligator tears for not wanting to go to the bathroom, no sticker, no big boy, no. period.
Dinner - asks for more broccoli (victory!) proceeds to throw broccoli on to the kitchen floor which causes him to cry because now his broccoli is all gone. 
Bed Time - Book Request? Charlie the Ranch Dog which is a crowd favorite, but tonight causes a biting melt down. Why, you may ask? Well...that is certainly a million dollar question. One, I am still trying to figure out. He proceeded to throw himself on the floor, resulting in tears because he fell. All we could do is laugh before we threw ourselves on the floor too. 

All of this ridiculousness is typical and is immediately followed by "Sowwy" and "I luhhyoutoo" which is all it takes to wrap my heartstrings around his little fingers.
Terrible One's, Two's, Three's, and 16's can't break my love for this little human...I just might need more wine and chocolate than is available in the tri-state area.

Politically Correct

Am I the only one who is tired of not being able to call it like it is? Why have we made it impossible to speak freely and have differing opinions without being called a bully or bigot? When did it become  necessary for all of us to agree, hug it out, and completely lose ourselves...forgetting how to stand up for anything?

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not ready to start another civil war and realize there are bullies and bigots who need to check theirselves before they wreck theirselves....BUT I'm tired of feeling like I need to skirt around sensitive topics because I can't heave an intelligent argument with FRIENDS. Yea, you read that correct, a disagreement with friends.

Kid President says "I disagree with you but I still like you as a person who is a human being and I will treat you like that because if I didn't it would make everything bad and too many people do that. it's ok to disagree but it's not ok to be mean." That kid SHOULD be president, his common sense is astounding. (and you should watch his videos) Remember, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. - Peter Hamilton

Now, please, go have an intelligent discussion with someone who can enlighten you about the opposing side of your argument. Don't be a hot head, or a douche bag. Just sit down and get smarter. Get passionate, do your research, use common sense, and form your OWN opinion. Quit letting other people, tv, magazines, Facebook, Twitter, and the internet in general form your thoughts and opinions. And finally, stand up for yourself (without yelling and demeaning your opposer). We all have a back bone, why is it so difficult for most people to use it?

I'm Such a Sucker

I've missed you all (all 3 of you I'm not related to). I could make excuses but I'll spare you. I'll also spare you the resolution I have. I don't want to set myself up for obvious failure. In my free time, I've been reading every heart wrenching blog and sobbing at every soul ripping video online. I'm not sure why I do that to myself. Especially when I'm sitting in the car dealership with tears streaming down my face. Awkward! I'm seriously such a sucker for these stories. It's constant reality check that my life is damn near perfect. I see parents lose little ones and hug mine a little tighter. I. Just. Can't. Imagine. I let every one of these stories tear right through my ever growing heart. It's like an accident in slow motion, I just can't  divert my attention. I

When I'm not staring at my phone crying for unexplained reasons, we are working on the never ending house remodel. I can't wait to tell you about it and finally announce its completion. Maybe, next year :)